To all my fellow dream chasers.
All too often, I clomp up the stairs to my apartment in the dark—having forgotten to leave the outside lights on again—fumble to get the key into the lock, stumble through the door, and crash into my desk chair, bone weary and yearning for bed, only to begin another couple hours of work at my second job as a writer.
All too often, I brew another cup of coffee, wrap up in a blanket, and huddle over my laptop staring at the blinking cursor on a blank page. Waiting for the words to come. But either the coffee is not working or my brain is just too tired to function properly, because inspiration proves elusive. Instead, I find myself taking a good, hard look at my life—the life I have chosen—and I wonder if it is truly worth it.
Writing is something I once only dreamed of doing. At the time, I also dreamed of sailing around the world, hiking the Appalachian trail, getting my pilot’s license, and becoming an actress. Oh and saving the world once or twice, of course. Dreaming big has never been a problem for me. Achieving those dreams has always been a little bit tougher … if not impossible.
Life is ever more difficult than the imagining. And discovering after achieving those dreams that dreams in themselves are not enough, is blow enough to leave one winded.
But I am a dream chaser, and so I chase on. Heedless. Reckless. Intent upon the hunt.
Four years ago if you had told me that I would be what I am, where I am, doing the jobs I am doing, I would have found it hard to believe you. In many ways, I am living the life I imagined for myself. In other ways, it is oh so different than I imagined. But even now, it is far too easy to become so entangled in the next dream that it overshadows the moment of victory. To believe that if I can but accomplish one more thing, set my sights upon it and work with all my gut, heart, and strength toward it, then I will have succeeded and then I will be satisfied.
But it is a ghost chase. When—and if—you lay hold of that next dream and go to tuck the accomplishment tidily beneath your belt, you will find it nothing more than an incorporeal wisp. Here one moment and gone the next. The thrill of the moment fades, and the chase begins again. But each dream requires a thousand tiny sacrifices. Each moment of the chase requires a thousand tiny decisions—decisions that determine who you are and what you become.
My fear is that I will become so enraptured (or conversely, so wearied) with the chase that I forget about the moment I am living in here and now. Sometimes a moment is all we have. And it is in the little moments that life is lost or won and time is squandered or made priceless.
Nights belong to the dream chasers. When the world falls silent and others sink into slumber, a dream chaser’s imagination comes awake. Yet sometimes, I find that I can do nothing better than to pull my gaze from the distant light of the stars and turn instead to the light of the sun. To bask in the present moment, simple as it may be, and recall that each breath is a gift. Each moment of life a blessing. Each dream a privilege.
Are you a dream chaser? Do you ever find that you forget to live in the moment as well?
Allison Ruvidich says
Oh, my goodness, I know this feeling. I have a tendency to look at my favorite authors, measure up all they have achieved against what I have achieved, and be frustrated that I haven't done the same yet. But lately I've started to realize that I'm only seventeen years old, and I'm not the same as any of these writers. My path will be different. Like you, I'm struggling with living in the present and putting my dreams down sometimes. Great post!
Rachel says
I am totally not living in the moment right now. I school, I was reminded of my love of working in a theater like when I did musicals in high school and thought becoming a stage manager might be a job I enjoy that would give me time to write. Well, I recently got my first gig as an assistant stage manager and am totally rethinking this idea. I have no idea what has changed but I'm over whelmed (there was more to it than I expected, which I my fault for not knowing and I feel like I know nothing and will mess up the production). It makes me sad because I do love the theater and the hustle and bustle of back stage but because I keep thinking if I want to continue doing this, I am not enjoying the rehearsal and just stressing out. I am really missing out in this experience with wanting to do well and impress everyone so I really need to just put that aside, do the best I can, ask for help when needed, and just be open to the experience.
By the way, great article, very poetic and I have been there in my writing too.
Katie Grace says
I'm a dreamer. My mind is always whirling about different scenarios that could happen or what my future could look like. But, honestly, if I don't put the work in now, that future isn't going to come true. If I dream of becoming an author, I have to write. I have to edit. I have to plot and plan and lug my notebooks around everywhere. I don't have to do it 24/7, but I do have to stop the daydreaming and spend those long wasted minutes actually doing something important. xD
Elizabeth says
I know what you mean! Thank you so much for this post!
Jennette Mbewe says
Yes, yes, yes!!! Awesome post and very well put! Thanks for sharing! It helps when we know we are not alone, that yes, this is truth, no matter how hard, how many sacrifices, etc, and to keep on keeping on.
clairembanschbach says
I also have problems getting caught up in grad school and the writing I want to do that I forget to stop and focus on what I should be doing and what is happening "now". Great post! :)
wethreesparks says
What a great post! This was beautifully poetic. It IS good to stop and savor the miracle of life and rest in the assurance of God's grace. I am definitely a dreamer…
I just recently found your blog, it is wonderful! I have especially enjoyed "When Destiny Comes Calling!" That story is such a good idea and sounds like so much fun! I can't wait to hear what happens to Alexander and Co. (I followed your board on Pinterest too! :-)
Thank you for putting your time into posting, I will definitely be back often!
God Bless,
Sarah Leana of A Mighty Flame
wethreesparks.wordpress.com
Jenelle Leanne says
I just loved this. Your way with words…. sigh.
Also wanted to pop on over and tell you I just got into Part Three of Orphan's Song and I am really, really enjoying it!