Gillian Bronte Adams

YA Epic Fantasy Author

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Is the Writing Life the Life for You?

January 11, 2018 by Gillian Bronte Adams 6 Comments

Sometimes, writing is coffee and book covers and words that roll off the fingers like a mountain shedding snowmelt to make way for spring.

And sometimes, writing is trudging on through dust and heat and still typing away, even when  inspiration is far away and putting words on the page feels like prying rocks from the heart of the earth with your bare hands.

And sometimes, writing is late-night typing when the muse finally hits after days of silence, and so of course you’re going to keep pounding the keys until 2:30 AM and beyond, even though you had hoped to log off around midnight and get some sleep. But the muse is talking—at last, she’s talking!—so you down another cup of coffee—or three—and keep on typing.

And sometimes, writing is scrapping chapters—yes, whole chapters—that you have agonized over for days because they still aren’t working, and somehow you need to get back to the basics because the whole thing has become such a muddled mess on the page and in your brain that even you have forgotten what is supposed to be happening.

And sometimes, writing is realizing that the characters all sound the same, and you thought you knew them, but do you really? Because, somehow, in the last chapter you mixed up three character names, and if even you can’t keep them straight, no reader is going to be able to. They aren’t really characters at all, only cardboard props that populate your scenes, and they have no heart. No heart. How do you give them heart?

And sometimes, writing is typing so fast your fingers feel like they’re going to fly away with you! All is going beautifully, the prose is singing, the story is winging, and the characters are forging onward to glory … and you lurch to a stop on the edge of a glaring plot hole and nearly tumble headlong into the cavern. And then you have to backpedal, gasping for breath, and collapse at a safe distance away, and wonder how in the world you got here, when it all seemed to be going so well.

And sometimes, writing is the fear that strikes to the heart when you think of those chapters you scrapped, those heartless, cardboard characters, and that gaping chasm of a plot hole that you still can’t figure out how to get around, and you wonder if you have any skill at all.

And sometimes, writing is scrolling back a few chapters to read a previously written scene, and feeling that glorious warmth that spreads through your chest as you realize that all may not yet be lost and that there may be some good in this story yet.

And sometimes, writing is stumbling across a line, a paragraph, a word that gives you a glimpse beyond the page to the heart of the character you’re trying to portray and you want to leap from your seat because it’s there, it’s there, there’s a heart to be found after all.

And sometimes, writing is sitting on the edge of that gaping plot hole, and tipping your head upside down and walking on your hands, for a moment, instead of your feet, and in that moment of upside down perspective, the world shifts, and the pieces fall into place, and you surge to your feet ready to launch the story in a direction you had never before considered.

And sometimes …

Writing is all of that in one day, and you close your computer at last, ignore the single-digits on the hour slot of the clock, and tumble into bed, exhausted and restless and satisfied all at the same time. And you wake later that morning, down a cup of coffee—or three—and begin again.

Because that is writing.

And the writing life is the life for me.

If all of this terrifies you, but you want to be a writer anyway, because there are stories within you begging to be told, characters that must come to life in your imagination, and themes that grip you by the heart and won’t let go, then maybe it’s the life for you too!

Filed Under: For Writers

Questology 101: How to Distinguish a Damsel in Distress from an Evil Enchantress

September 1, 2015 by Gillian Bronte Adams 10 Comments

It has been some time, dear readers, since I have received missives of any sort from the Spy with his villainous findings or from Sir Galgadin at the Warrior-in-Hero-Training School of the Round Table. You can imagine my surprise when I discovered the following message fastened by an arrow to a tree beside my house.

I share it here for your reading pleasure. 

Questology 101 Damsels in DistressWhen venturing forth on quests of derring-do, one will inevitably cross paths with a number of strangers. Some will doubtless be dangerous. Some will be innocent victims in need of protection. And still others will seek to turn you from your quest by any deceitful means possible.

Or perhaps even draw you into a trap under pretense of requiring aid.

The villains are uncannily clever. Knowing our heroic propensity to leap to the aid of damsels in distress, the masters of villainy lately began disguising evil enchantresses by the wayside to lure unsuspecting knight errants from their noble purpose. Many a quester has gone missing, never to be seen again.

So what can one do? A good hero cannot simply deny aid to a damsel in distress. But how can one tell a true damsel in distress from an evil enchantress in disguise?

Consider the following tips before venturing forth on a quest, and you might just make it back alive.

Beware chance meetings

This is generally a good rule of thumb, regardless of the circumstances. In my vast experience, chance meetings are rarely that, and coincidence on a quest is nigh nonexistent. If a beautiful maiden should happen to show up at the crossroads at the precisely right moment in order to petition your aid, proceed with caution.

You must proceed, for a true knight is bound by the quester’s code to investigate. But stay wary and keep a weather eye out for a trap.

Beware the immortal beauties

If she appears beautiful beyond the lot of mortals, chances are, she isn’t. Mortal, that is. Many evil enchantresses possess fey blood or are at least capable of casting a glamor over their features. Don’t be taken in by this simple trick.

Perform the mirror test. Attempt to catch a glimpse of her reflection in a pool, your sword pommel, or on a burnished piece of armor. (This is why questers must always pay attention to the state of their armor and weapons. Shining armor has many and various uses.) If her reflection remains unchanged, you can then test fey blood by casually asking her to hold something made of iron. If she is fey, she will be unable to bear the contact of iron upon her skin.

If either test proves fruitful, beat a hasty (though courageous) retreat.

Beware the tearfully vague story

Ask for details. Demand the who, what, why, where, and how. Don’t simply gallop off into danger to avenge her slain family. Test her story. If she claims to have escaped her family castle which was just overrun by dragons, she had better smell of dragon smoke. If she claims to have wandered in the wilderness for days searching for aid, you should expect her clothes to be mud-stained, her shoes to be tattered, and her hair to be matted.

However, if she looks as though she has just stepped out onto the dance floor of the Great Hall, you will know her for a liar.

If she is telling the truth, your search will reveal it, and if not, you won’t wind up dangling over an ogre cooking pot.

Beware the proud

By their very nature, evil enchantresses are evil, proud, and conceited. As such, they cannot keep up a pretense of kindness for long. Damsels in distress, however, are by their very nature sweet, kind, and gracious. So test her kindness. Ask her for a dipper of water, or to rub down your noble steed, or to perform some other sort of simple task. Should she willingly comply without a haughty glance or a turned up nose or a muttered complaint, chances are she is a true damsel in distress and is honestly grateful for your aid.

Proceed on your quest with a light heart.

Beware shortcuts

Once again, this is a general rule of questing, but it is especially true when dealing with damsels in distress/potential evil enchantresses in disguise. Should she offer to show you a quicker route to her family castle, refuse to be drawn from the main road. No matter what happens. Shortcuts almost always end in a quick drop and a hard fall to ruin and death.

Do not, however, run her through. Merely suggesting an alternate route does not automatically decry her an evil enchantress, so proceed on the quest by sticking to the road, but keep your wits about you.

In short, my young heroes, with a heavy dose of common sense, quick thinking, and the ability to keep your feet on the earth and your heart out of the clouds, you should manage to discern the damsel in distress from the evil enchantress and complete your quests in safety.

– Sir Galgadin
Headmaster WIHT School of the Round Table


Are there any other tell-tale signs that you can think of that might help valiant questers distinguish between damsels in distress and evil enchantresses in disguise? Share in the comments.

stock photo courtesy of www.splitshire.com/

 

Filed Under: Hero School Tagged With: Questology 101

Villainy 101: Master-Minding Murder and Mayhem—Weapons of Intelligence

January 27, 2015 by Gillian Bronte Adams 19 Comments

TOP SECRET COMM. #10
FROM: THE SPY
TO: READERS OF THE BLOG

By the time, this reaches you, I’ll probably be dead. Not really … but more than likely. I’m smack dab in the middle of my next assigned. (No, can’t tell you what it is. Top secret, remember?) I’m deep undercover … really deep. And dark, too. Communication is only possible through homing bats—weird, I know. All I can say is it’s a harrowing world out here. Almost makes me wish for the relative safety of my time spent spying at the Academy of Ultimate Villainy.

You know it’s bad when a fellow gets nostalgic about three months spent studying villainous deeds under villainous professors, rooming with villainous students, and getting flunked for not cheating on villainous exams. Yeah. Go figure. Anyway, figured I’d send y’all the next lecture from Professor Hornbuckle’s class.

Hope you enjoy and learn lots of villainous little tricks so you can prepare your heroes to fight. That is why you’re reading this, right? Cause if I thought you authors were using these lectures to train your villainous characters, well, I might just up and quit.

The Spy, signing off.

Master-Minding Murder and Mayhem: A Villain’s Arsenal Part Two

Master-Minding Murder and Mayhem2

Spy’s Note: Nineteen minutes and thirty seconds after class was supposed to begin, Professor Hornbuckle crashes through the door. A couple of students were already gathering up their things and preparing to leave. Before they can sit down again, guards appear and drag them away. Professor Hornbuckle doesn’t even wait for their pleas for mercy to die down before he begins.

The pop quiz will be at the end of class. We are continuing our discussion on the vast array of weapons in a sage villain’s arsenal and focusing on three main classes of weapon: force, intelligence, and subterfuge. Last week, we focused on weapons of force. Today we shall discuss, weapons of intelligence.

Weapons of Intelligence

A villain should not rely on force or strength alone to achieve his or her dastardly schemes. The second class of weapons in our deadly arsenal are of a somewhat more refined and intellectual sort … but no less dirty than the others.

To quote a rather modest and troubled young villain, “… in this splendid world of ours, information is currency.” (Top marks to the student who can recall to which villain that quote is attributed!)

Though he, sadly, was not a graduate of our nefarious institution, that in no way lessens the truth of his words. Indeed, he who holds the knowledge holds the power. There are many ways in which to gather, utilize, and disseminate information. We shall touch upon only a few.

Spies and Informants

Whether they be computer hackers, eavesdropping enchantments, or minions in disguise, spies and informants are a villain’s prime means of gathering information. Any spy ring should be multi-layered and vast, like a spider’s web. (Cliché, I know. Bear with me.) But while spies and informants are invaluable, they can also prove your greatest weakness. Rest assured that any man who is willing to sell you information is undoubtedly also willing to sell it to your enemies for an equal price. Spies and informants must thus be doubly expendable. Loose ends do not a strong spider web make.

Blackmail

Aside from using your knowledge of his affairs to foil your enemy again and again, blackmail is one of the most useful aspects of intellectual warfare. An army of minions and evil henchmen—excellent. A spy ring—top marks. A vast web of unconnected sleeper agents who appear to be ordinary people going about their ordinary lives, with no ties or connections to the criminal world, just waiting for the word to spring into action—brilliant! And that can be achieved through blackmail. Dig up the right bit of dirt on the right sort of people and the world will fall at your feet.

Frame Job

Most of the time we villains like to lay claim to our evil deeds—watching our rep and building cred and what not. But on occasion, there can be nothing more delightful than laying the blame for our reprehensible crimes on our enemies and watching their worlds crash and burn. All it takes is a little tidbit whispered here, a wad of cash inserted there, with a dash of forged evidence on the top, and voila, a masterpiece. Controlling information enables you to disseminate what you want to who you want in whatever form you want. Which brings us rather handily to our final point …

Control

In the end, information is all about control. Selectively spreading or withholding information or seeding misinformation will enable you to govern the actions of not only your minions but ordinary citizens and those desperate heroes as well.

For example, should your civilians comes under the notion that you are a tyrant, simply spread a little panic with rumor of upcoming threats, and they’ll buckle down beneath your tyrannical rule to keep the safety it provides. And that is just one tiny glimpse of the innumerable options that control of information provides you.

Always remember, a good villain should always have another secret … and the victor writes history.

Ah, that would be the bell. It appears we are out of time. Turn over the quizzes on your desks. I hope you brought a lot of pencils—you have a lot of writing to do and only ten minutes to make your next classes—and I don’t need to remind you that you don’t want to be late.

In our next lecture, we shall move on to weapons of subterfuge. For your homework assignment, you must read pages 17-37 in Unearthing Skeletons—A Blackguard’s Guide to Blackmailing, pages 78-113 in Spy Rings for Dummies, and chapters 7, 11, and 21 in The 10 Step Plan for Achieving World Domination. I expect a twelve page, single-spaced essay detailing the various instances in which the different aspects of intellectual warfare might be most effective by tomorrow morning. Seven minutes until your next class. I suggest you get to work on that quiz…

Whew, glad I’m not in Professor Hornbuckle’s class! Do you have any tips for the aspiring villain on how to go about choosing or using intellectual warfare? If so, share in the comments!

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Filed Under: Academy of Ultimate Villainy Tagged With: Villainy 101

Villainy 101: Master-Minding Murder and Mayhem—A Villain’s Arsenal

January 15, 2015 by Gillian Bronte Adams 23 Comments

TOP SECRET COMM. #9
FROM: THE SPY
TO: READERS OF THE BLOG

Those of you who’ve been hanging around this blog for some time may be wondering where in the whole wide world I’ve got to these past several months. Last time I sent word, I had recently been captured by the sinister Dr. Sinestra and locked in the Filthy Dungeons of Doom and Gloom (yes, that is their actual title—creative, isn’t it?) deep below the Academy of Ultimate Villainy.

I can only imagine how you lot must have been worried sick, picturing me chained to a wall in the damp and dark, gnawing on hard crusts of bread, making friends with the rodents while slowly wasting away … To be honest, I was a prisoner for a grand total of one week before managing to pull off a brilliant escape (using techniques learned from the Warrior-in-Hero-Training School of the Round Table) and have been undercover ever since.

Due to the unfortunate end of my last spying gig, we decided it was best to keep my presence hidden until after I’d collected all the information we needed. A novel idea, right? So having just completed a semester posing as a student at the AUV, recording lectures, reading textbooks, and taking notes—and acing all my classes, I might add—I am pleased to send the following to you … and do hope you enjoy learning about weapons, arsenals, and other villainous stuff.

The Spy

P.S. Seriously … enjoy. Please? I could have died gathering this intel for you, so please put it to good use writing epic villains the like of which I will hope never to meet.

Master-Minding Murder and Mayhem: A Villain’s Arsenal Master-Minding Murder and Mayhem

Professor Hornbuckle enters—a rather rotund fellow, mustachioed, spectacled, wearing a rumpled suit coat and tie and carrying a bulging briefcase. He poses beside the podium and breaks into a speech with a voice better suited to Shakespearian theatre than the classroom:

Weapons … weapons … glorious instruments of death! These the tools without which no villain can spread murder and mayhem. Without which no villain can cause death and destruction. Without which no villain can survive. But what use are tools if the hand is not skilled to use them?

When it comes to learning how to master-mind murder and mayhem, one must start at the beginning: with the weapon. There are countless weapons available in a villain’s arsenal, not to mention a host of things at his or her disposal which can be turned into a weapon at the snap of a finger. The weapons we shall discuss fall into three rather messy categories: weapons of force, intelligence, and subterfuge.

Today we shall focus on the first. I’m afraid you’ll have to attend class again—yes, boo hiss all you want—to catch the next lectures.

Villainy 101 - Master-minding Murder and Mayhem - Villain's Arsenal Part 1

1. Weapons of Force

These are the sorts of weapons that everyone thinks of as weapons. Easy one, right? (Don’t worry, it won’t seem so easy on the test …) Swords. Hammers. Axes. Siege towers. Guns. Bombs. You name it. If it can strike hard and kill fast, it’s a weapon of force according to our definition. Now, I could spend hours talking about each type of weapon and breaking them down into further classifications—hand to hand, long range, weapons of mass destructions, etc.—but we really don’t have time for that in class. Don’t cheer yet though, that’s your homework assignment. Due before midnight. (Yes, I know, I’m evil.)

Today, we’re here to chat about the guiding principles when it comes to choosing and using a weapon of force, rather than the specifics:

Never Leave Home Without One

I don’t care if you’re the “keep your hands clean” type of villain. A savvy villain always keeps a forceful weapon near to hand – even if it’s nothing more than a pen knife. In our line of work, you never know when you’ll stumble across some crazy do-or-die hero. It’s always best to be prepared.

That said …

Anything Can Be a Weapon

Remotes, pillows, chewing gun wrappers, etc. The world is cluttered with potential weapons, and a skilled villain should know how to transform even the most seemingly innocuous items into a weapon if need should arrive.

While this is an invaluable skill to have, I do also recommend finding and settling upon a particular forceful weapon that fits your skills and needs as a villain.

Your Chosen Weapon of Force Should Be Distinctive

Your weapon is a part of your “brand” as a villain. Everyone remembers Captain Hook. And who could mistake the Grim Reaper for anything but? Or on the opposite side of the spectrum, where would Thor be without his hammer or Captain America without his shield? When you terrorize citizens, they should be able to recognize your handiwork by your weapon alone. This is yet another way you can stand out as a villain in a villain crowded world.

Bigger is Not Always Better

In pursuit of the distinctive, villains sometimes stumble into the absurd. Having the biggest weapon on the block does not make it the best weapon. If your weapon is bigger than you are, you will look absurd. If you cannot swing your weapon without stumbling, you will look absurd. And that, my dear little villains, is hardly the impression you want to leave.

It should go without saying that this is why a massive block of stone at the end of a long chain—memorable though it may be—is really a terrible weapon. Especially when fighting atop a frozen body of water. (Yes, Azog, I’m pointing at you.)

The only instance in which such a weapon could be employed would be if your opponent was chained the ground with no earthly chance of escaping your blow. If he is in any way mobile, for badness sake, ditch the boulder and choose a weapon that will allow you to move around too.

That concludes our lecture on weapons of force. We’ll move on to weapons of intelligence next class. For your assignment, study pages 7-83 in Weaponology for the Wicked. I expect all vocabulary memorized word for word and you’ll want to be prepared for a 70 question pop quiz (worth 10% of your grade) on weapon classifications next class. Have a very dismal day!

Do you have any tips for the aspiring villain on how to go about choosing or using a “weapon of force?” If so, share in the comments!

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Filed Under: Academy of Ultimate Villainy Tagged With: Villainy 101

The Villains We Love to Hate … And The Ones We Just Love

April 24, 2014 by Gillian Bronte Adams 12 Comments

Every Villain is a Hero, Gillian Bronte Adams, Of Battles Dragons and Swords of Adamant

Given the number of villainous post I’ve written, I feel I should start this one with a disclaimer: I actually am not obsessed with villains. Nor am I a super-villain in disguise. I rarely sport an evil laugh, nor do I have a secret lair where I practice mustache curling and cape twirling. My childhood aspirations never wandered so far as wild and dastardly schemes for world domination. What can I say? Guess I’m a low achiever.

Though I have no such lofty goals for myself, I do enjoy crafting devious plots for the villains in my novels. And the villains themselves … well, they are so much fun to write. Villains can run the gamut from the black cloaked, mustache twirling variety mentioned above … to the creatures of pure evil and darkness you find in many epic fantasies … to the conflicted villains you just can’t help feeling sorry for … to those twisted ones that are just plain horrifying.

I’ve experimented with these four different sorts of villains a good bit over the years. I won’t say one sort is better than the others. Each has its uses for different times and places. Nor is this an all-inclusive list. Not remotely. But I thought it worthwhile to give some favorite examples of these different common types of villains.

Mustache Twirler

Sometimes a story is all the better for a good, old fashioned mustache twirling baddie. The mustache twirler is all about style. He enjoys his nefarious reputation and intends to get the most out of it. He may be of average intelligence. Or he may be brilliant. Regardless, he’s a bad boy and he enjoys it.

“Every fairytale needs a good, old fashioned villain.”
– Moriarty, BBC’s Sherlock

Some “mustache twirling” villains that instantly spring to mind include:

  • Captain Hook
  • Captain Barbosa, Pirates of the Caribbean
  • Moriarty, BBC’s Sherlock (Though if he ever saw this post, he would undoubtedly resent being called a mustache twirler and put a kill-order out on my head.)

Obviously, the mustache twirler can tend toward the comedic, but he can also be plain scary. See Moriarty for a prime example. If you decide not to turn your main villain into a “mustache twirler,” this sort of villain also makes for a great evil henchman.

Pure Evil

You tend to see this type of villain more so in epic fantasy than anything else. The things at stake—the world, humanity, life as we know it—tend to attract the worst sorts of unfeeling, inhuman monsters. These villains have no regard for human life and tend to spill it cheaply. They are powerful and always seem to have the upper hand. There are few things more terrifying than a monster who just wants to see the world burn.

Some examples include:

  • The Dark Lord Sauron, The Lord of the Rings
  • Ruin, The Final Empire Series
  • Voldemort, Harry Potter
  • The Joker, The Dark Knight

Sympathetic

No matter how terrible this villain’s means, motives, goals, or actions may be, there is something about him we can understand. Some deeper longing we can relate to. Some terrible event in the past that causes us to sympathize. Some goal that still doesn’t justify the villain’s actions, but makes us understand how he could become what he is.

This villain believes he is in the right. Believes it so strongly that the hero—and maybe even the reader—may wonder. This villain sometimes even believes he is saving the world … and the hero, well, he just doesn’t have the guts to do what is necessary.

“Every villain is a hero in his own mind.”
– Tom Hiddleston

Some examples that spring to mind:

  • Loki (You knew I was going to mention him, didn’t you? He’s one of those villains we love to love.)
  • Javert, Les Miserables
  • Sadaes, Way of Kings and Words of Radiance

I’m currently writing one of these villains for my WIP, and even as I write him, I can’t help feeling sorry for him. In another sort of story, in another sort of world, he might have been a hero. Or at least your ordinary not-mass-murderer.

Twisted

*Shudder* These villains are just plain scary. They take the “sympathetic” side and turn it into something dark and twisted. There is still a “valid” reason behind everything they do. And it’s not just because they want to see the world burn or mankind destroyed. Sometimes like the sympathetic villain, the twisted villain might think they’re saving the world. Or at least accomplishing some higher, more worthy goal. But they don’t care how many bodies pile up along the way. They often take “mentally unstable” to the extreme. Nothing, no sense of right or wrong, no hint of conscience, is going to stop them from accomplishing what they desire. Examples?

  • Emperor Commodus, Gladiator
  • Colonel William Tavington, The Patriot
  • Taravangian, Words of Radiance

Maybe once upon a time you would have felt sorry for them. But now? Well, they’re the sort about which you can truthfully say:

“He’s not the kind you save. He’s the kind you stop.”
– Falcon, Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Do you have a favorite sort of villain? What are some other common “types” you can think of? Other examples of these types?

Filed Under: For Writers Tagged With: Villainy 101

Questology 101: Occupational Hazards and First Aid Kits

April 3, 2014 by Gillian Bronte Adams 6 Comments

I thought for sure we’d heard the last from Sir Galgadin, Headmaster of the Warrior-in-Hero-Training School of the Round Table, after he rushed off last time to slay a dragon. But lo and behold, what did I find on my doorstep yesterday evening, but a missive written on ancient parchment, sealed with the WIHT crest, and apparently delivered by carrier pigeon …

It’s been a lamentably long time since my last post here on this good blog, but I do have the best of excuses. Or perhaps the worst, depending on your point of view.

I was forced to rush off last time to deal with a livestock stealing dragon that has been terrorizing the countryside with his terrible breath and BBQ sauce. Apparently he likes the taste of toasted knight almost as much as he likes roast mutton or seared villager.

Needless to say, the villagers of Hardale need fear said dragon no longer.

And I’m pleased to announce my release—at last!—from the Extreme Burns section of the Hospital. Note to self: plate mail is a marvelous conductor of heat.

This serves as a remarkable introduction for my next topic in our Questology 101 series: First Aid Kits.

I know it sounds a rather mundane topic, when we could be talking about three ways to dismantle a troll bridge, or Odysseus’ fool proof method for escaping a cyclops’ cooking pot, but having a good first aid kit just might save your life.

Knight errantry is not the safest vocation in the world. There are certain unavoidable occupational hazards: sword wounds, arrow wounds, dragon fire, dragon claws, and saddle sores to name a few.

A good quester never travels without a well-stocked first aid kit, including the following items:

Clean bandages

Please! It’s not like we’re living in the Dark Ages here. A few rolls of clean bandages should more than cover the usual quest. There is absolutely no need for a hero to tear a strip off his filthy, blood stained shirt to bandage a wound. Can you imagine a more perfect breeding ground for infection?

Such things belong only to the movies … and perhaps the most epic of battles where you scarce have time between one fight-for-your-life and the next. Otherwise, pack clean bandages and always restock whenever you are in a (more) civilized part of the world.

Antiseptic/Clean Water

Gangrene is a more terrible killer than most monsters I’ve battled. Infection should be avoided at all costs. (Hence the emphasis on clean bandages!) Unfortunately, a good antiseptic is often worth its price in gold, so many healers resort to using wine. When in doubt, at least rinse the wound with good clean water to remove any foreign agents before bandaging … with clean bandages.

Herbs

There are many herbs considered of medicinal value, however, I am a knight and therefore neither an herbalist nor an apothecary. I insist you visit your local physician for suggestions before heading out into the field with an incomplete or inadequate first aid kid. Some herbs commonly used for the treatment of questing injuries are yarrow (excellent for staunching wounds or stopping a nosebleed) and comfrey (also called knitbone, used as a compress on fractures, bruises, and other injuries). Again, I advise you to consult your local physician.

Sutures kit

A curved needle, silk thread (if you’re rich) and sinew (if you’re not), and you’ve got yourself an excellent sutures kit. I know, I know, it’s all about the scars! They make a quester look so terribly heroic and ruggedly, dashingly handsome … but not at the risk of infection. A good first aid kid should include the supplies necessary to perform a simple suturing.

Burn Cream

Remember the dragon I was just telling you about? They’re more plentiful than most people care to admit. And dragon burns aren’t the only burns you’re liable to deal with on your quest, rope burns, sun burns, hot soup burns … you name it. A good burn cream is always quite handy to have around. Aloe vera in its raw, natural form can be purchased from most apothecaries, or plucked straight from the wild in more arid locales.

Tourniquet

This is another highly useful tool. All it requires is a few strips of cloth—you did pack all those clean bandages, right?—and a stick. You simply tie the strips of cloth above the wound, place the stick inside the knot and turn the stick to tighten the cloth, cutting off the flow of blood.

Warning: this is highly dangerous in that it can cause permanent damage and loss of life in the limb. Heroes should only use a tourniquet to stop bleeding as a last resort.

Tinderbox

Of course you should pack a tinderbox anyway whenever you’re heading out on a quest, but the ability to start a fire does round off your first aid kit nicely. Sometimes, cauterization is the only way to handle a wound out in the wild. And without a tinderbox, you’re plain out of luck.

Various magical objects with mysterious healing powers

There are many known (and unknown) objects in the fantasy realms with magical healing powers. Lucy’s cordial. Ambrosia. Rapunzel’s hair. Etc. If you can get your hands on one of these, I highly recommend you keep it on your person at all times. Never let it out of your sight. And use it with care. For with great power comes … oh, never mind. Just don’t waste it.

 Disclaimer: This is by no means a complete list. I intend only to set you thinking about what you … or your heroic characters … should pack in the form of medicinal supplies for a quest. I am a knight, not a physician. Do not try any of these so called “remedies” at home. If I hear of any such funny business, there are one or two errant giants I know who might just happen to wander your way to knock some sense into you.

Consider yourself warned.

~ Sir Galgadin
Headmaster WIHT School of the Round Table

Well, that certainly was informative! I’m pleased Sir Galgadin was able to join us again … I think. What are some things you (or your heroes) might consider packing in your ultimate quester’s first aid kit?

Filed Under: Hero School Tagged With: Questology 101

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