I really wanted to come up with some sort of a witty title for this post, but in that regard wit unfortunately proved elusive. Still, there is something to be said for being straight to the point. Something of a rarity for me … but I digress. Writing that post about dragons—Fire Inside the Mountain—a few weeks back set me to thinking, especially once I discovered that Craigslist listing for a dragon slayer. Brilliant, wasn’t it? I couldn’t help imagining some of the crazy things you would see listed if internet ads existed in any of the fantasy realms. So I thought I would explore some of the options … 
Just smells of intrigue doesn’t it? I rather suspect a situation similar to that in The Ordinary Princess, where the King and Queen were so desperate to marry off their daughter, they actually discussed hiring a dragon to take her captive in the hopes that some dashing young prince would come rushing to the rescue and be forced to marry her! How about this one? 
Pretty sure I would have answered that advertisement. Not sure what that says about me though … 
Any educated guesses as to which fairy tale character might have placed this services advertisement? I guarantee you won’t want to hire this fellow. Turns out a “guarantee of future trade” is generally not such a good deal. We’re barely scraping the tip of the iceberg here! What are some fun fantasy/fairy tale advertisements you can think of?
Fire Inside the Mountain—Dragon Awareness Day
A Special Bulletin from the Warriors-in-Hero-Training School of the Round Table, issued via carrier tern from the desk of renowned Headmaster Sir Galgadin.
It has come to my knowledge that many among the so-called “learned” in the modern world have a dangerous tendency to scoff at “legends” of fire-breathing beasts. To this, I have but one thing to say: “Never laugh at live dragons.”
J.R.R Tolkien To which of course they would reply, “But there is no such thing as live dragons.” After which, they would burst into another fit of mocking laughter … right before perishing in a fiery blast. I do not intend to attempt changing mainstream views on dragons in general. Short of shoving a few dozen world-acclaimed so-called scholars into the dragon’s den, I cannot think of any way to convince them that dragons do in fact exist and have a sweet tooth for barbeque. (I hear slow smoked scholar is considered quite the delicacy in dragondom.) Instead, I shall let the wise speak for me. Brilliant scholars have been writing about dragons for quite a bit longer than my pen has been scratching a page. Perhaps their words—and not mine—shall help awaken this sleeping world to the knowledge of the peril it lives in. After all … “ … it is one thing to read about dragons and another to meet them.”
Ursula K. Le Guin, A Wizard of Earthsea Among the many scoffers, there are also many who think dragons are the easily-befuddled, easily-slain creatures of bedtime lore. Nothing could be further from the truth. They are cunning, powerful, devious, masters of deceit and treachery, and for all the fire burning within their chests, they are utterly cold hearted. “A dragon should never be engaged in conversation as they are inveterate liars and tricksters, though if you’re actually talking to a dragon, you’re pretty much toast anyway.”
John Stephens, The Fire Chronicle Toast? Not sure that’s quite a strong enough a word for it. Think barbeque. Seared steak. Shishkabob. And dragons unfortunately aren’t the sort of things you can ignore either. If one moves in nearby, you can expect death and destruction to follow in its wake, as notable dragon-scholar J.R.R Tolkien noted in The Hobbit. “It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”
J.R.R. Tolkien So just what should one do if a dragon moves in nearby? There are many varying suggestions: Double check your life insurance policy … Head for a top secret bunker in the hills … Offer your livestock as sacrifices to appease the fiery beast … Or if all else fails, you can always send for a dragon slayer. This ad was discovered posted on craigslist. 
Any takers? In general, it is wise to remember that dragons are fearsome beasts … proud … arrogant … and with good reason. “My armor is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!”
“Smaug” J.R.R Tolkien, The Hobbit And yet even the fiercest dragons have a weak spot. “I have always understood,” said Bilbo in a frightened squeak, “that dragons were softer underneath, especially in the region of the—er—chest; but doubtless one so fortified has thought of that.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit Find the dragon’s weak spot and strike hard, my friend, lest you and your family be counted among the growing number of deaths attributed to dragon-related accidents every year. I should like to leave you with one final piece of dragonish wisdom. If at all possible … “Meddle not in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”
Anonymous Sir Galgadin
Signing off Do you have a favorite dragon-ish quote? Share it in the comments!
Coming Home – The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty,
dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a
dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a
hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”
dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a
dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a
hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”
– The Hobbit, J.R.R Tolkien
Thus began the first story my dad ever read aloud to me. At
least that I can recall. I was five years old at the time and the strange creatures
of Middle Earth—hobbits, dwarves, goblins, and the dragon—speedily populated
the world of my imagination.
least that I can recall. I was five years old at the time and the strange creatures
of Middle Earth—hobbits, dwarves, goblins, and the dragon—speedily populated
the world of my imagination.
By the time I was seven, my dad had finished reading The
Lord of the Rings aloud. He gave me my own copy for my seventh birthday and I
loved it so much that for the next year I slept with it at the foot of my bed.
Lord of the Rings aloud. He gave me my own copy for my seventh birthday and I
loved it so much that for the next year I slept with it at the foot of my bed.
Tolkien’s Middle Earth became a sort of home away from home
for me, the backdrop of all my imaginings. The characters became than a child’s
imaginary friends. To this day, The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings remain my
favorite books. And yet, unlike some Tolkien purists, I also absolutely love
the movies, despite their differences.
for me, the backdrop of all my imaginings. The characters became than a child’s
imaginary friends. To this day, The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings remain my
favorite books. And yet, unlike some Tolkien purists, I also absolutely love
the movies, despite their differences.
Around Christmas time, I went to see The Hobbit: Desolation
of Smaug. I’d heard mixed opinions of the movie—lots of comments about the
addition of Tauriel, Legolas/Tauriel/Fili, and the extended plot lines—so I
wasn’t quite sure what to expect.
of Smaug. I’d heard mixed opinions of the movie—lots of comments about the
addition of Tauriel, Legolas/Tauriel/Fili, and the extended plot lines—so I
wasn’t quite sure what to expect.
But I loved it. Differences. Mistakes. Drawn out plot and
all.
all.
Tolkien set out to create an epic worthy of the Norse
mythologies he studied. Mythology grows over time. It is not the work of a
single author. It’s bigger than that. It power rests in its ability to capture
and stimulate the imagination of others. And in turn, to absorb their
interpretations and additions.
mythologies he studied. Mythology grows over time. It is not the work of a
single author. It’s bigger than that. It power rests in its ability to capture
and stimulate the imagination of others. And in turn, to absorb their
interpretations and additions.
Because of that, I think that Peter Jackson’s imagining of The
Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings remains true to the spirit of Tolkien’s work,
if not true to every detail. I watch the movies as much to see the beauty of
Middle Earth in living color on the screen as to know the characters and follow
the story.
Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings remains true to the spirit of Tolkien’s work,
if not true to every detail. I watch the movies as much to see the beauty of
Middle Earth in living color on the screen as to know the characters and follow
the story.
Mirkwood. The Woodland Realm. Lake-Town.
All there. So much more fantastic than I could have imagined
them.
them.
So yes, I loved The Desolation of Smaug. Just as I loved An
Unexpected Journey. And just as I’m sure I’ll love the third and final installment
when it finally comes out!
Unexpected Journey. And just as I’m sure I’ll love the third and final installment
when it finally comes out!
I think because Tolkien’s work was such a huge part of my
childhood, watching The Lord of the Rings movies and reading the books feels
like coming home.
childhood, watching The Lord of the Rings movies and reading the books feels
like coming home.
A journey there and back again.
